When The Sun Is Out And I’m Still In

I feel guilty when the sun is out and I’m still in, but there has to be some sort of grace period during which this is acceptable. In the full heat of somewhere, unless you’re going to be on the water somewhere, what is the point? I understand during spring and fall, especially when the temperatures are mild, but what’s the point of being outside when it’s 90ºF unless you have to be? Who does this voluntarily?

My plan had been to go to the beach, but Jane was a bit exhausted from fighting the crowds at the beach lately, so we opted to stay home. It’s been a bit insane lately on the barrier islands. We’ve been overrun. That was my big plan: go to the beach and sit there instead of here. I could have easily sat outside in the yard or on the deck, I know, but why? The chair isn’t as comfortable, and there are flies and mosquitoes. It’s not like I save any money if I go outside. We’re air conditioning the house either way. Why not enjoy it?

We talked about a bike ride, but the heat really knocks the aspiration out of you. We’ve both been off the exercise of late. I haven’t walked in two weeks, and I’m starting to feel bad about it. Hopefully, I’ll get back into it this week. Just have to get out there first thing and git ‘er done. Tomorrow could be taxing, though, since I have a 10:30 am call and would need to be out the door by 9 am. I know that doesn’t sound difficult, but I like my morning coffee routine. We’ll see how early I wake up. Maybe. 

It helps to think about it and visualize myself doing it. I don’t like making fast decisions. I need to be thinking about doing something before I do it. I do very little on a whim, not unless I’m fairly well crocked. I’m a plodder. I think for as long as I’m given and then I’m very decisive. But if you ask me to do something immediately, I’m going to beg off.

Even something as simple as exercising requires me to talk myself into doing it. There was a good stretch there where I was on a streak. I think I was driven more by my exercise app than by any desire to be healthy or “get outside.” I didn’t want to let the app down by being a quitter. Once you stop, all that goes away, and you have to start again. Fuck a duck.

I think I was driven more by my exercise app than by any desire to be healthy or “get outside.”

I mowed the lawn yesterday and watched a few sporting events. I also wrote a little. Today, I screwed around with two new websites, which took entirely too long. It’s Sunday and I feel bad because I wasn’t very productive. I don’t need to be earning money, but I hate to feel like I didn’t take full advantage of a day off. What would that be exactly? It’s hard to say, but it’s not a nap, and it’s not usually exercise. It’s usually writing, although I do enjoy going to the beach for three or four hours. For some reason, that feels like you got out and did something. Then you come home, shower outside, get in soft linen clothes, and enjoy a cool beverage. It’s quite nice.